JOB HUNTING SUCKS

I dislike change, although I've come to accept it as part of the life cycle. New and interesting things generally pop up, and they can be fun to address, and certainly amusing "dinner table stories" for a later date.

Changing jobs is another story. Especially in today's economy, it can be hard to manage the fear of never getting hired. Fear . . . nervousness . . . TERROR . . . whatever.

Job hunting sucks. For those of you desperately sucking hard right now, here are a few issues to consider:
Resume: Definitely get one of those.
References: Remember, little "financial incentives" may be a plus.
Networking: By all means, be sure to let everyone know how desperate you are - surely at some point, a true friend will have pity and go the extra half-mile for you.
Honesty on your Application: How seriously "checkered" is your past?
Internet Resume Submission / No Initial Face-to-Face Application: According to recent studies, how ethnic-sounding or gender-neutral your name is can have a significant impact. Turns out, Jamie Fox is a GENIUS!
Nepotism: Use it if you can get it!

Should you score that elusive job interview, please be mindful of the following:
* Put on clean underwear!
* Deodorant. . .
* Smile and make nice with the other children. . .
* Do not fart (the silent ones especially).
* As you feel the "nervous sweat" drip down your skin between your breasts, do not allow the resulting tickle to distract you from the interviewer's questions.
* The tickle at the end of your nose is more than likely a speck of dust or an eyelash gone astray, but do yourself a favor and engage in a little "scratch and rub" just in case.
* Eat lunch after the interview, especially if you have a penchant for spinach salads, or breads with dark seeds (stay away from poppy-seeded-anything, as this may affect your random drug test results should you be lucky enough to get hired).
* Halitosis Prevention Month is EVERY MONTH.
* If sandals are in season, for the love of Pete, make your toenails presentable.
* If the weather is cold, NEVER WHITE SOCKS - NEVER. Do I really need to emphasize this?

And, finally,
* Ladies - Deodorant feminine hygiene products. Strangely, this is not a given for some people.

I wish myself, as well as all of you, every good thought and prayer in your quest for gainful employment and satisfaction in your work endeavors.

Live Long and Prosper!!