Here it is, February, 2010, and I realize I haven't blogged since about August of last year. I still have lots to say, I've just been very busy.

I'm still working as the Coordinator for the Battering Intervention and Prevention Program in Amarillo at Family Support Services - seven months now. I never thought I would enjoy working with men accused, and guilty, of hurting the women they purport to love and protect. However, it goes back to the default statement that so many people in social services say: "If I can help just one person make changes. . . If I can help just one person find a better road, a better path to pursue, then I will have made a mark, and it will have been worth it." I feel those moments when I teach class often, because the men I work with actively participate and contribute to the discussion. I'm sure I'm getting "snowed" sometimes. But my hope is that some of those men are sincere.

I love what I do. In working with perpetrators, I advocate for victims.

I am in the process of studying for my LPC (License in Professional Counseling). It's work. I earned my license in 2001, so was an LPC in Texas until 2007, when I allowed my license to expire. I was living in Florida at the time, not thinking I'd return to Texas, and planned to get licensed in Florida. June 2009 rolls around and back to Texas we go. So now, I have to retest in order to apply for my Intern License. As an intern, I must make up the difference between my first internship (2,000 hours required) and the current requirement of 3,000 hours. Once completed, I'll get to have my LPC again. No matter, I don't think we're moving away again, and I anticipate being at my job for a long, long time. Yay!

Sometimes I think that at my age, I should be farther along in my career, more successful financially and personally. . . But I can't begrudge what and where I am. I am who I am ("I yam what I yam"), and I'm perfectly fine with that! Again, yay for me.

Cassandra turned 16 last week. I thought I'd be a little more freaked out, but it's a good thing for her. She's very excited. . . Of course, I would have thought MORE excited - I told her we'd do a driving lesson this past weekend, and she was really excited, but she spent the whole weekend with her friend, so we never went. Would it be selfish of me to say I was both sad and relieved at the same time?

Marcello will be five years old in March. What a great age - pretty much everything makes you happy, and it's just great to be oblivious to the stress of grown-up life. I made the mistake of actually asking the question, "Do you want to have your birthday party at the Discovery Center or at Chuck E. Cheese?" Pizza wins out, of course. I'm already nervous about it - We haven't thrown Marcello a big birthday party yet, and those old fears "What if nobody comes" are racing through my head. How ridiculous, since everyone seems to LOVE Marcello. The challenge will be if Cassandra will take two hours out of her precious teenage years to attend. I'm thinking, "Not."

The picture I posted is my family, during Thanksgiving (2009) as a Christmas gift for mom and dad. After Thanksgiving Dinner, while I was helping clean up, all of the Holdgrafer children took turns going to the Tortoreo hotel room / temporary photo studio and took the family pictures that each of us would give to mom and dad. Tom orchestrated the whole affair, while Sarah's BBF (Best BoyFriend) Steven took the photos. Mom and Dad never suspected a thing. They were quite overwhelmed when opening gifts on Christmas Eve.

I love this family photo, especially since Tom finally consented to actually have his picture taken. Kelsey and Cassandra look beautiful, and Marcello looks adorable. We Tortoreos feel very fortunate.

My worst day with my family is better than my best day anywhere else. I'm very lucky!